Tuesday, May 20, 2008

2 b 3

the more i talk to you the more i get hurt. i thought i could handle it. but i was wrong...

you would always say you are despressed
i would always ask how i can cheer you up
you weel reply promise me you won't stop talking to you

you want to be back like before
yet you can't trust me again

because you are afraid you lose me

because matth is afraid to lose me

both of you just think, one side lost.

you say you are the only one who might losing something here
matth says, he is the only one who might lose his girlfriend.

you guys, aren't confident in yourself enough to trust what i say
i know, i made so many mistakes.
that's why i can say i can't make promises. because i have learnt from the past. that everything i promise. i just don't think about the future. i don't think about what can happen.

i told you everythings "depend" on somthing. so i can't predict the future.

you both think. it's just so simple. i just have to answer yes or no.
just this answer depends on who i talk to.

yes can mean "i stop talking to brian" for matth
yes can mean "i won't stop talking to you" for you

everything just depend on something.

you only think that you are the only one who is depressed. i know i can't blame you. i have hurt you so much. i broke you heart, and i give you doubts for the future.

you said i was afraid of pain, but that line just fits you right now. you are afraid to lose me. because it is going to bring you pain.

all i want to say, is that i'm a really really difficult state of mind. i might just lose control anytime. i told you i am weak. everything i do or say , is just to pretend im not right now. trying to not make you worry.

but you just don't stop saying how it is painful for you, because you can't confess.

so you both are pushing me
it's hard
for me

because you both, just put every single responsabilty on me.

i know i deserve it.

you both say, i'll let you think about it so think about it seriously.

like i'm not taking that seriously enough.

yet, you both wanted the answer tonight.

you might lose me. that is thinking about yourself.
matth said he might lose me. that is thinking about himself.

now what about me. i have to think about me. right but, you two gave me the responsabilty to think for 3.
by my only decision. i will change 3 lives.

it is just too hard for me to handle it.
at least. for tonight
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